July 12, 2006
Warshington Pabst
President George W. Bush announced a unilateral plan this morning to engage Tickle Me Elmo in sanctions after Elmo burst upon stage during a Department of Defense press conference and made rabbit ears behind his head. Bush was quoted as stating, “We will not tolerate these childish, petty attempts to belittle the American institutions of endless circular logic, miles of paperwork, or corruption within the Beltway. We will hunt Elmo down, like the soft, plush pinko fag he is, and spread a little justice up his ass.” Tickle Me Elmo was not available for comment, but Internet bloggers are reporting that Elmo has vowed to continue disrupting the President’s press conferences.
(4 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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